Wanted: BFsitter
Look, I've gotta get out of town this weekend to drive down to Texas (again). Luckily they finally released Confederacy of Dunces on AudioCD, so I'm golden. But here's the thing; I need somebody to watch my boyfriend. Usually, I just leave him with Matt, but Matt's going to Iceland. And Catherine and Tommy are obliging sitters but they're off to an out-of-town wedding. In a pinch, the internet is a reliable sitter if you turn on the porn-blockers, but his laptop is kaput and mine is going with me. And I've gone a done a very bad thing.
ME: Ooh! Netflix is sending me Felicity Season 1 Disc 1 on Friday!
HE: You . . . y-you realize that all my friends are out of town this weekend? You're going to expose me to the F-Bomb while my whole security network is out of town?
ME: When I come back you will be painting your nails and crying over
tampon commercials.
HE: When you come back to DC and find that you have a girlfriend, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
On further reflection, I guess I don't actually want a girlfriend. And even if I did I'd be really hard up because the ladies have really never given me the time of day. So please. For the sake of my relationship, will somebody take him out for a walk and water him twice a day? Very grateful.
ME: Ooh! Netflix is sending me Felicity Season 1 Disc 1 on Friday!
HE: You . . . y-you realize that all my friends are out of town this weekend? You're going to expose me to the F-Bomb while my whole security network is out of town?
ME: When I come back you will be painting your nails and crying over
tampon commercials.
HE: When you come back to DC and find that you have a girlfriend, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
On further reflection, I guess I don't actually want a girlfriend. And even if I did I'd be really hard up because the ladies have really never given me the time of day. So please. For the sake of my relationship, will somebody take him out for a walk and water him twice a day? Very grateful.
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